Loved And Lost
by Slo Motion
Summary: S Club 7 fic. What if Paul died? How would Hannah feel?


**Title: **"Loved And Lost"

**Fandom: **S Club 7

**Date Penned: **4.6.03

**Main Character(s): **Hannah

**Author: **Slo Motion (a.k.a Alexa)

**Rating: **K

**Genre: **Drama, romance, one-short, songfic

**Main POV:** None

**Character Death: **Paul died of cancer in this story

**Coupling: **Sort of Paul/Hannah

**Songs Used: **"Have You Ever" by S Club 7

**Setting: **Sometime during Hollywood 7 (a.k.a season 3).

**Disclaimer: **S Club 7 is not mine, neither is their song "Have You Ever".

**Summary: **What if Paul died? How would Hannah feel? (S Club 7)

**A/N: **I wrote this way back in 2003. I've finally taken time to edit it, hope you enjoy.

"Hannah," Jon called, "we're leaving now."

Hannah heard him loud and clear but all she wanted to do was stay home and cry. It had been two months since Paul died of that terrible six letter word everyone called cancer.

_Sometimes it's wrong to walk away_

_Though you think it's over_

_Knowing there's so much more to say_

_Suddenly the moment's gone_

_And all your dreams are upside-down_

_And you just wanna change the way the world goes round_

It was a hated word to Hannah. It had taken Paul, Hannah's only real love.

All the other guys she had ever gone out with we're all total creeps. But Paul was always there for her when she needed him and cared about her and not himself. And all the other guys she had ever kissed she never felt anything but, "what am I doing kissing Mr. Wrong?" 

But when she kissed Paul…not even words could describe how she felt. Paul was the one. He was her soul mate, but now he was gone. Hannah couldn't help but burst into tears.

"Hannah, come on," Tina yelled impatiently.

"Yeah, we're leaving," said Bradley angrily.

But Hannah did not want to go. She wanted to stay home.

"Guys," Hannah said sadly, "I don't want to go. I'm not in the mood, ok?"

She was crying really hard now.

"Well, ok, then we'll see you later," Jon called to her.

"Ok bye," Hannah said, crying very hard.

"Bye Hannah," the others called and drove off.

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody_

_Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry_

_Can't you see_

_That's way I feel about you and me baby_

_Have you ever felt your heart was breaking_

_Looking down the road you should be taken_

_I should know_

_Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go_

"I can't believe she's still crying! It's been two months since…well, you know," Jo said.

"I know, really!" Bradley replied to Jo.

"The only thing she wants to do is cry," Tina said.

"Come on guys! She lost someone she really loved, give her a break," Jon said, giving them a dirty look.

"Yeah guys, she lost her one true love and you're mad at her! Don't you guys have a heart!" Rachel said, giving them a really dirty look.

"You're right…we're sorry," Tina, Jo, and Bradley said together.

"That's good, because if you put yourself in her place right now, you could just imagine how she feels," Jon said, "she must feel awful."

The others nodded in agreement.

_Can't help but think that this is wrong_

_We should be together_

_Back in your arms where I belong_

_Now I've finally realized _

_It was forever that I found_

_I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round_

Back at the house, Hannah sat on her bed crying her eyes out.

"Oh Paul! Why did you have to go…why!" she cried out while she was crying.

Thoughts of her and Paul together flashed through her head. This made her cry even harder.

"Oh, Paul, I miss you so much! I can't talk to you, I can't talk to anyone, unless…" she said.

She stopped crying and dried her eyes. Then she took out her diary turned to a blank page and wrote…

Dear Diary,

It's been two months since Paul died. I miss him so much. Why did he ever get that stupid cancer in the first place! I don't like that word at all. It took away my one true love.

I'll never fall in love with anyone again. Paul was the only one for me. He understood me and he loved me and I still and will always love him, and no one else will take his place in my heart.

I keep thinking of him and I feel so bad because I loved Paul so much, and I lost him to cancer. I hope no one else I love gets cancer…ever.

I really miss Paul a lot. But I have to deal with the fact that he's gone and not coming back. That could take awhile, but, I will always be his and only his Hannah and he will always be my Paul.

Hannah

_I really wanna hear you say_

_That you know just how it feels_

_To have it all and let it slip away_

_Can't you see_

_Even though the moment's gone_

_I'm still holding on somehow _

_Wishing I could change the way the world goes round_

When she finished writing she put away her diary and got ready for bed. She turned out the light and just before she went to sleep she said…

"Oh Paul, I wish you were here with me. I miss you. And if you can hear me…I will always love you, until the end of time and no other guy will take your place in my heart…ever."

Then she drifted off to sleep…not knowing that the ghost of Paul stood in the corner of her room. He smiled then disappeared knowing that Hannah will be his only love…no matter what.


End file.
